My first job out of college was at Texas Instruments in Dallas in 1984. At first there was some shuffling around of offices to accommodate new hires like me. I spent a few weeks sharing a four man cubicle with some older employees. All in their 30s and married. Even with the close quarters I have fond memories of Mary, Tom and Marilyn. I was quickly moved over to a two man cube with a guy who was actually working in my group.

Marilyn and I hit it off, mostly on a shared love of books and reading. She was an English major in college and one of the most well read people I had ever come across. We would talk about books in the hall and sometimes even go to lunch. I also detected a bit of radicalism, something not unusual in well read people, but definitely unusual at Texas Instruments in the 80s.

I only stayed at that job, and in that office for a year. I changed groups and moved to another office a few miles down the road. I don’t think I saw much of Marilyn after that. After a year at that job, I left Texas Instruments and Dallas. I kept in touch with a few people, including Marilyn, mostly via email.

Marilyn also left T.I. and went to a supercomputer maker up the road. Then she went to Seattle to work for Microsoft. I saw her once more in person in 2001 when I went to Seattle for a job interview with a startup. I was only in Seattle briefly and wanted to meet Marilyn for dinner after work. Problem was the founders of the company also wanted to go out to dinner. I had worked with them at a previous job and figured I’d ask if my friend from Microsoft could tag along. They said ok.

I still remember that dinner. Marilyn had done well for herself, becoming one of the early Microsoft Millionaires, or at least that was what I assumed. Everyone at Microsoft in those years was making crazy amounts of money via the stock. The founders of the start up mentioned to me later how impressed they were with Marilyn. I also got an offer and left my corporate job for this small start up.

Marilyn and I stayed in touch for the next few decades. Sending each other book recommendations, news and articles, mostly fun stuff out of the mainstream. I’m sure not a week went by when we didn’t exchange notes. Most times it was several a week, sometimes several a day, always via email.

i stayed busy with kids and career, and Marilyn cashed out at Microsoft and stayed in the Seattle area. Thousand of emails went back and forth. Many years later I also retired. A few weeks ago I mentioned we were thinking of moving to New Mexico. She had a sister in Santa Fe. She said we would be seeing lots of her if we lived near Santa Fe, since she was often out visiting her sister.

Suddenly the emails stopped. I had her cell phone number, which I had never used. I sent a text message, fearing the worst but hoping it was just a problem with her email. No reply. I called but it rolled over immediately to a voicemail. I realized we never even communicated by phone. It was always just email. I realized we had no friends in common and I didn’t even know the names of her brother and sister. Or perhaps sisters. I contacted a few friends from T.I. days, but everyone I contacted had lost touch with her years ago. I looked at maps and scanned police reports from her neighborhood. Googled around but found nothing.

I kept going through old emails hoping for something. I consider Marilyn one of the great friends of my life, yet I knew nothing about her family. I knew she was divorced and had no children, but knew nothing about her siblings. We also had no friends in common, at least after all these years. It had been almost two weeks since I had heard anything and I could find no way to make contact. Then, I found an old email with a note she had forwarded from her brother. It still contained her brother’s email address. I sent him a note.

Her brother Anthony replied quickly with the news. Marilyn had a heart condition (I did not know this) and she died in her home. I was and still am devastated. I’m not sure what else to say except that she was a good friend and a huge influence on me over the years. Perhaps the smartest person I have ever met. I am going to miss our emails terribly.